Like a lot of elementary school kids, my daughter has been spending a lot of time lately studying our presidents. In addition to memorizing all the presidents – there sure are a lot more than when I was in school! – she also was asked to choose one president and do a report. She chose Lincoln and she asked what he "did" as president. We talked about the Civil War and how he was assassinated. We also talked about how he freed the slaves. This led to a lot of questions: Who were the slaves? Why were they slaves? How were the slaves treated? All good questions, but not always easy ones. The …

My son enters high school next year so the question of the hour is, "What do you think you want to be when you grow up." Since sometimes I'm not sure of the answer to that question at my age, I wonder how hard it must be for the youth of today with all of the choices out there. I began to do some soul searching to help my son.It seems that I have always been a musician. It is my passion. I really wanted to be a conductor. My piano teacher, Ethelyn Stinson, saw this and took me to a rehearsal of the Philadelphia Orchestra. A woman from Russia was the conductor for a few pieces. There was an …

Understanding your roots and embracing tradition make you a better person and strengthens your family.Adopting a daughter from China has some great added benefits, like looking into another culture and enjoying some of the traditions. Last Sunday was the beginning of the New Year celebration in China, beginning at midnight last Sunday and continuing through the week. This Sunday, we will visit Philly’s Chinatown to enjoy the Dragon Parade and some great food at our favorite restaurant. We’ll stroll through the shops and purchase good luck charms and maybe a new silk dress for my daughter. We’…

  Some folks suffer from post-holiday blues, but there isn’t really time for that in our house. January means the beginning of indoor baseball workouts for my son and the start of a new season in my daughter’s youth orchestra. Add that into the normal mix and we hit the new year at full speed. Though winter is staring us in the face, my thoughts are already on June. I can’t wait for the kids to be done with school so we can spend our time hanging out at the pool. We’re hoping this summer will be special, too. We’ve set our sites to getting out west, specifically seeing the Grand Canyon. What …

Pretty soon, the mini summer vacation will be over and our kids will be back in school. The long assault of homework, assignments and work in general will be on for the next six months.   While the holidays have been great and totally enjoyable, it is time to get serious about several issues concerning our children and teens. If you are like most parental units, what started as a general lessening of rules just for the break, is now an all-out festival with eating whatever and doing whatever and, well, most have had enough screen time to put most kids into a trance. This coupled with …

We acquired a puppy this summer after much pleading to, and prodding of, my husband. I have always loved collies -- big and fluffy and well, a real dog. But I was adamant that this eventual 80-pound dog would behave and not endanger any lives or worldly possessions. We hired a bona fide dog trainer and he is worth every penny. With the first lesson finished, I leapt into the ordeal with both feet; Heal. Sit. Down. No! All followed by appropriate praise and tasty treats.   Our trainer went on vacation and yet I kept up the pace. When he returned, I was eager to show him our puppy’s progress. …

  Somewhere along the way "honesty is the best policy" went by the wayside.  The other day my 14-year-old son announced that he would be driving in two years. As serendipity would have it, my auto insurance card arrived in the mail at the same time. I looked it over and found this small card attached to the driver’s card. I detached it and read it over. The heading read: What to do if you are ever in an accident. The first line was horrific. It read: Do not admit fault. Is this what I want my brand new driver to know? I freaked out. Is this was America has come to?   My mind raced back to …

We are into it now, up to our noses in merchandise. A single-engine Cessna could land anywhere thanks to the rows and rows of lights on houses. Inflatables are popping up from the earth in amazing numbers and the pace on the street is quickening with each passing day. Sheer panic will set in closer to the end of the month at the malls and there will be a glow, not from the fireplaces, but from the credit card that is still warm in your pocket after countless swipes. I’ll admit that I have gotten pulled into the frenzy from time to time. Usually it is when I simply lose perspective listening …

December brings a feeling of expectancy and celebration mingled with anxiety and dread if you are on a college campus. The semester is almost over, but the final exam and culminating project are looming large in the minds of most undergrads. My general psychology class has been a particularly exceptional bunch of kids and I wanted to offer a bit of extra credit to them in exchange for their consistent effort during the semester.   I offer extra credit when I think that most students are working hard and yet some may have difficulty showing how well they understand the material through static …

Out of the Penn State scandal come many lessons, including choosing your friends wisely and doing the right thing, even when it’s difficult.Well the media has gone to the wall with the JoePa story. My son asked what was going on and I gave him a brief synopsis and he said, "It doesn’t sound like the coach did anything wrong." But the adages started flowing: "Birds of a feather flock together" and "You are judged by the company you keep." Even one of my favorite books, the Bible, tells us, "to whom much is given, much is expected." Poor JoePa, to come this far and forget who he really is, to …

When my daughter arrived from China I knew that self esteem was going to be an issue. She was abandoned by the people who brought her into the world -- a really tough situation -- so the psychologist in me summoned the advice from all the great theorists. I knew I had to help her define herself.   First, I took her into our family and we all worked to love her unconditionally. Then, I took her to church to learn about Jesus because of our belief system. I gave it to her.   Then, I began with her deficits. She didn’t speak until she was four years of age; she never crawled so her speech was …

Whew, what a rush the past month has been, but it was nothing compared to how it ended. We lost power in our neighborhood at 2 last Saturday afternoon. My husband and I had finally stowed the kids at the grandparents and sat back to watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. We have tried to do this for three years now and failed. That’s right; no date night for the past three years. But no electricity, no movie. About 2 a.m. Sunday, the power was restored. Two days later, the power was shut off this time with no warning and, it would seem, no rhyme or reason.  I walked up the street on the …

Last week our church had a rummage sale. I was walking through the piles of old stuff and found a beautiful framed needlepoint piece. It read, “Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.” I knew this saying because my mother had it on her dresser for years and then I learned the melody that went with it from my time in Girl Scouts.  I began to hum it and the church secretary joined me.  We stopped, looked at each other and laughed. Isn’t it great to connect to someone?  My mind started to go over all of the traditions we have in our family.  I remembered the first …

Our public schools are a microcosm of the world outside, reflecting the general makeup of our neighborhoods. This happens in regard to race and ethnicity, socioeconomic status and any other variable used to describe the surrounding people in your backyard. In 1954, after the courts settled the Brown vs. the Board of Education issue, that of segregation in our schools, something interesting occurred. Since the issue of segregation could not be solved in our neighborhoods by the government -- clearly you cannot force people to purchase or sell their homes to accomplish this, the public school …

I really love magazines. I don’t necessarily like to read them but I do like to watch people read them; they do say a lot about the people who read them. Take the time when two kids were whacking each other senseless with toy swords in the old Zany Brainy toy store. The mom who owned these kids was reading a magazine and it was entitled, Self. Or the woman at the pool in a size 48 bikini reading Fitness Today. There is a time and place. I do not advocate, however, the following scenario. My son came home from his first week in middle school and said, "I am selling magazines and all you have …

This week I learned a valuable lesson. Well, I guess I always knew the lesson, but it came home to me this week.  My 9-year-old daughter and her friend, Clare, were sitting in my kitchen Friday. Clare asked the old “Pearl Harbor” question. “Mrs. Smith, tell me where you were on 9/11,” she said. Now both Clare and my daughter were not even born yet and aside from being transported back to that moment in time, I also felt a million years older. And a million times sadder. I was in my parent’s spot and I felt trapped.  My parents’ intelligence seems to improve with my age. Today, they seem so …

This week my children returned to school. When they came home their backpacks were filled with tons of papers to fill out and directions to follow, and so, the routine begins.  The third morning, I was in the kitchen packing lunches, as usual. I handed my son his lunch and a water bottle for school and he said, "I can’t take a water bottle or I will be suspended." The same situation presented itself in his first year of middle school.  I asked why, and he said that the principal had spelled out the rules and indicated that kids were putting other substances in their water bottles. So I guess …

At the beginning of my career as a school psychologist, I was employed by the School District of Philadelphia. At that time in Philadelphia, there were still several elementary schools that served students from kindergarten through eighth grade, including Ethan Allen Elementary School. I worked with this school, as well as other elementary schools that did not serve that broad of an age range. In addition, I also served middle schools within the district. I was in the fifth grade when the concept of middle schools graced the education scene. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The …

Yesterday was another great summer day. Yes it rained, but my girlfriend and I -- and all of our kids, of course --cashed in on two games of free bowling, split a 20-piece chicken nugget among our kids as a snack (with a drink from the water fountain) and finished the day at a water ice stand with coupons. We made plans for the next day to furtively cram in more last-minute adventures. August is the best and worst month for me. It means I still have the kids with me, but the shadow of the large brick school house grows larger each time I drive by it. In a few days, I will choose another route…

We acquired a collie puppy in June and, of course, the first few weeks have been a challenge. I took the puppy to purchase a few items, at one of the few stores you can take an animal in as long as they are on a leash. Within minutes, the dog refused to move and then take off in different directions with that wonderful, straining "I am choking myself to death and walking at a 90 degree angle" pull. When threatened with chasing the pooch through the store, I stooped down and gathered the errant animal in my arms, repeating my new mantra over and over: "I’m in charge!" It took a lot of effort …